Oh to be "With It"
DH once asked his sister, while I was standing right next to him,"So, what do you think of my wife?"
My SIL, generous soul that she is, said, "I think she's a with it, happenin', cool kinda gal."
Really, what is she supposed to say to my face? "Actually, brother, I think your wife is a total dolt, and I'm feeling rather sorry for you that you are saddled to such a bonehead for eternity."
Nevertheless, her response did make me sigh, just a bit. Oh, if only I was a With It Gal.
A With It Gal wouldn't spend a half an hour cleaning out her car the night before she has to drive a carpool because if she didn't, only the driver and a small child in a car seat would be able to find a seat around the junk. With It people have clean cars all the time.
A With It Gal wouldn't pull out a mildly wrinkled dress to wear to church from a partially unpacked suitcase that sat unpacked from a 2 week vacation for almost a week. With It People unpack immediately. And they don't miss the sacrament because they are 15 minutes late for church.
A With It Gal doesn't lose her son in an unmade bed.
I know there are With It People out there, even With It moms. I've met them. I've seen their clean cars, their sparkling kitchens, their tastefully decorated bedrooms. I've borrowed clothes from their immaculately organized closets, helped them cook in their well stocked kitchens, and admired their perfectly manicured lawns. And only a small part of them are actually crazy. The rest of them are really quite pleasant.
So, With It People of the world, share your secrets. I'd love to know them. I'm dying to know them, because I'm clearly at a loss here. I sometimes feel the opposite of With It. What would that be, anyway? Without It? Losing it? One Without With?
I'm sure a With It Person could tell me.
posted by Heather O. at 8/21/2006 10:00:00 PM
15 Comments:
I used to be with it before I had a second kid. Except, I NEVER had a well stocked kitchen, and if I had a lawn, it might look perfect, but only because I would shell out bucks to a neighbor boy (or girl) to take good care of it.
To be with it is exhausting, so why bother?
I hear ya. I don't understand how people get it together enough to always have enough ingredients on hand to be able to cook a meal.
My neighbor with six kids under 8 mystifies me. She's always showered and dressed by 9AM when I see her out in the yard (I'm usually wearing a baseball cap and yard clothes - shower is a hit or miss proposition), I know she cooks dinner everyday, her house is usually fairly clean, her children are sweet and fun, and she's even genuinely nice and funny and intelligent. I have no idea how she does it. Six kids, I'd be a freaking basket case. I can barely handle my three.
You know the world exists. The world outside your house, your family, your neighborhood, your church, your country. I'd say that qualifies for with it.
OK so reading this post I was like "What? Yes! I'm a with it person" until I reached the whole clean kitchen thing. Yeah that got me. sigh.
Until I became a mom, I rarely had the desire to be a with-it person. I got most of my fullfillment from my job, so it really didn't bother me if the bathroom needed cleaning. Now, staying home with my baby, I feel like pond scum if my house isn't clean. That's when I remind myself that I am staying home to be there for for my baby, not to keep the house spotless. My talents really do not lie in keeping a house spotless and children sunny all the time. So, great for women who have that talent . I just don't. I'm doing the best I can as a mom. I look forward to getting back to work in a few years and doing what I love and am good at.
I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was and whatever it was, I wasn't with anymore. Just you wait, young-uns. It will happen to you
I know a formerly With It Woman. (This person may or may not be my mother-in-law.) For decades her parties were perfect, her house immaculate, her car pristine. Now disabled by obesity she strives to attain the same withitness of former days by bulling and abusing her guests into sculpting her house and parties into her version of perfection--little realizing as she goes that she alienates the very people all this withitness is supposed to impress. I used to observe this all with prideful disdain until I realized as my house became grander and my parties more ambitious, my withitness obsessed alter ego would appear flipping out over mail being placed however temporarily on a spotlessly clean counter and nit-picking my husband to death over his mere average rosemary chopping. We both decided there is no room for this person in our monogomous relationship and gave her the boot.
The only time my car gets cleaned out is when others have to ride in it. To quote my son's 6year old friend (son of a "with it" mom), "your car is sooo messy!"
I also wore a dress last Sunday pulled from an unpacked suitcase as did all my kids. We caught the sacrament, but then again, church is at 3:00.
I lost my 3 year old for 40 minutes, checked the house one more time before calling 911 only to find him asleep in his own unmade bed.
I spent $350 at the grocery store the Saturday night before school started because we were most decidedly not stocked up.
Oh, and others have called me "with it". If they only knew the actual definition of "with it" is "fake it."
I'm totally "with it". I think we all are. You need only adjust your definition of "with it", not your life....
It's not denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I accept.
I always thought you were a with-it gal.
I'm certain Nate was totally confident in your "with-it-ness" when he said that to his sister. It sounds so sweet, his confidence and joy in you.
Although I'm going to have to read that "lose your son in an unmade bed" story. So me.
Anyone who posts regularly on a blog, and does it with such humor as you, is With It. More with it than me, fer sher.
"With it"? What in the world is that? :)
But on a more serious side, I have found that to be "with it" you either have to make a concious choice to be organized and take care of all those details --or you have to be a working mom.
Working moms --the ones I know and love --are with it because they have little time to deal with anything but what has to be done. That is why I am a "working" mom at home. I have found that if I have 12 hours a day to get things done --NOTHING gets done. But if I have 2 hours to get things done --EVERYTHING (that is of priority) gets done. Therefore, I teach 15 piano students and also teach preschool twice a week. That leaves me with just enough time to be "with it". :)
I hate With It people! My jealousy and envy bubble to the surface, and create big bubble in wich I can see how Un-With-It I am!!
The way I see it, With-It people are like crisp, shiny apples. No matter how hard I try, I will never be an apple. I love apples. I covet apples, they are With-It in the fruit clique.
But I am a grapefruit. I am messy, I have fibers and a thick peel, my essential oil will disolve oven grime, and I drip all over your arms as you eat. I may even squirt in your eye. And while I love apples and sometimes wish I was one, I am, in fact a grapefruit. And there is a very nice place for grapefruit in the world. As a matter of fact, I like them.
End of threadjack and strange tangent. Can you tell I'm at my parents for three weeks?? ;)
Wow, grapefruit oil will dissolve oven grime? What a fantastic fruit!
LOVE the analogy, Tracy. Glad you find the time to read even while you are with the folks.
I wish I were with it too. I keep hoping. I read books and attend lectures at Education Week and it helps for a little while. If you are looking for tips, I found Marie Ricks' information helpful. Her website is at http://www.houseoforder.com/.
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