I can't prove it, but I swear...

*Dishes in the sink have sex while I'm not looking, and have mad powers of procreation. Same goes for dirty laundry. And why is it that I'm constantly doing laundry, and yet have NOTHING TO WEAR? *Dryers eat men's socks. I can always find the match to my cute girlie socks, but can never match my husband's black ones, or my son's white ones. And I've only bought about a zillion pairs of each. *Grime fairies come in the night and slime the bathroom I cleaned yesterday. Same goes for dirt trolls and the freshly vacuumed carpet. *My bed has super suction powers and will suck up anything that is left 2 inches next to it and hoarde it underneath. *Cold sores will lay dormant until they know (oh yes, they know, they know!) you have a really important work interview, a picture that needs to be taken, or a hot date. Same goes for zits. The ugly white ones. *Children who sleep through the night every other night will suddenly become massive insomniacs the one night Mom really needs some sleep. And Dad is out of town. *There is always traffic on the way to the DC temple. Even at 5am. All those drivers in your way? Minions of Satan. They especially like it if you roll down your window and scream that at them as you drive by. That really helps you get the Spirit. *Children understand that the quiet time while taking the Sacrament is the perfect time to yell, "I'm BORED!" *A mother who is taking care of a newborn enters a completely different time zone called "Baby Time". Singing 12 songs, reading 14 books, providing massive neurological stimulation with black and white pictures and serious play time that teaches "object permanence" fill about 2 and a half minutes. Only 1437 and half more minutes to go! *It always rains on the White House Easter Egg Roll.


Anonymous Mary said...

All of that is so true! The D.C. temple traffic/Satan's minions cracked me up - it's the same for us going there from the Maryland side, but then you have to deal with the crazy ridiculous Maryland drivers on the beltway the ENTIRE way. Not very conducive to the spirit. It's only like 15 or 20 miles from our

4/26/2006 01:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Mary said...

sorry, comment got cut off - I was saying the temple really isn't far from our house, but can take forever to get there.

4/26/2006 01:07:00 PM  
Blogger hairyshoefairy said...

So true. So true.

4/26/2006 01:16:00 PM  
Anonymous mimi said...

Can I add that apparently my children undress at someone elses home, because halfway through the school year they will only be able to find two uniform shirts.

4/26/2006 02:56:00 PM  
Blogger Jamie J said...

Dishes in the sink has sex. That's a great one!!! Thanks for the laugh! So true!

4/26/2006 03:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Amber said...

I, too, shall be entering the "Newborn Time Zone" in a few months and I'm not looking forward to it! I swear, those first months just DRAGGED. Once they get active and fun, it's a completely different story.

Whenever people would see my newborn daughter and comment, "My how time flies...I can't believe how big she's gotten!" I could never agree with the quick passage of time!!!!!

4/26/2006 07:12:00 PM  
Blogger nestle said...

Heather, where you coming from for the DC temple. I used to think that till we discovered the Rock Creek Pkwy. If you are going from VA you can catch the GW to the Key bridge exit. Go toward DC on Key bridge. Get the whitehurst hwy and get onto rock creek pkwy. (Or find another way to get onto rock creek pkwy). There are really no exits or on ramps once you are on it.... meaning not a lot of traffic... Rock Creek Pkwy will eventually butt up against Beach drive which will take you right by the zoo AND if you keep going by the temple. It's an awesome drive, no traffic lights... at all... ok there's one on connecticut (only if you like scenic sites of a cool little creek, bikers wearing tight biking shorts... which sometimes is a bad thing but not usually... and no traffic.) :-)

4/26/2006 09:20:00 PM  
Blogger nestle said...

Umm excuse my lack of grammar in the first comment. I'm typing fast and I'm dropping words left and right.

4/26/2006 09:21:00 PM  

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