How do You Rise Above?
Remember me? Probably not, but now that the holidays, bronchitis, and stomach flu have come and gone, I thought I might poke my head outside the confines of my home (through the magic of the internet) and reacquaint myself with our wonderful blog. I apologize to the Wiz and Heather for being so flaky!
After reading Heather’s post about Jacob’s heartbreaking outburst, I got thinking about my relationship with my oldest daughter. She is 7 ½ years old and is really for the most part very sweet and wonderfully helpful. However, in the last few months I’ve watched as the rosy magical vision of a young young child has begun to give way to a more realistic perspective.
I’m afraid that I don’t look so hot with her new vision and that suddenly I’m not the wonderful, all-knowing, infallible parent I once was in her eyes. Our relationship has changed and become much more contentious than it has ever been. She’s acting and speaking out when she’s upset and let’s face it, the Mom is an easy target. I realize this is my fault because instead of rising above the fray, I’m engaging her and thereby feeding the fire. On a rational level, I know that she loves me and is still pretty young to really understand what she’s doing and saying. I know that when she says things like "You made this the worst day ever!" Or "Why don’t you love me?" Or "It’s all YOUR fault!" Or "You lied, you said you would do this and you didn’t!" I should walk away and then approach her when we are both calm and rationally discuss the issues, but still hold her accountable for being rude and disrespectful.
Sounds like I know everything right? So, what’s the problem? Here’s the problem, it really hurts my feelings when I’m working so hard to be the very best Mom to her and yet I can’t seem to do anything right. As a result I don’t walk away, instead I react defensively and so it goes. For the record, I am 6 months pregnant and have never felt so busy and stretched in so many different directions. There’s a high probability that I’m probably just totally out of whack and completely overreacting; however, whatever the cause I need to get this resolved. So, I’m asking all you mothers who have dealt with this, how do you brace yourselves against the inevitable onslaught of criticism from those you’ve given everything in your power for?