Mr. Famous Person

My parents have a famous neighbor. Seriously. I can't tell you who it is because a) I'd have to kill you, and b) My father would kill me right after I killed you. He firmly believes in protecting other people's privacy. Once, when I was kid, Karl Malone was eating with his family at the same restaurant we were. The Mailman himself people, and that was when he was still delivering for Utah, except when he would totally and completely choke and fall back on his pathetic jumpshot which always missed, and before he abandoned ship to go play for that OTHER team, just because he was tired of not having a championship ring, which of course was all his stupid jumpshot's fault. (sigh) For a while there, it was just REALLY hard being both a Jazz fan and a Red Sox fan. Anyway, I'm sitting there watching this behemoth of a man chew his food, and I think, Hey, I've got a napkin, my mom's got some lipstick--everything I need for a kickin' autograph. I get it all together, and my Dad gives me THAT LOOK, which is funny, since he doesn't actually have that many looks, and rarely uses any of them. Come to think of it, he really only has the two--his normal look, and THAT LOOK, so when I saw something different on his face, I knew he meant business. Plus, he looked a little weird, so I was transfixed, just a little bit. "Don't even think about it", he said. "Let the man eat his dinner in peace." "Nobody else is letting him eat in peace", I whined, which was true. People were high fiving him, calling out his name, just generally letting him know that the people of Utah appreciated him. I mean, c'mon, like professional atheletes don't totally just LIVE for that kind of stuff. Hey, word up, Karl. Don't go out to eat in Salt Lake when the Jazz are on a roll and expect people to leave you in peace. Of course, you can't go out when The Jazz are losing, because then people would just throw things at you. Best stay home then if you don't want to be impaled by a spork. "Well, you are not going to be one of those people", my father said, which left a distinct impression that I would get THAT LOOK again if I ever dared to be one of those people. And since THAT LOOK was freaky enough in the first place, I abandoned all hope of the Mailman's John Hancock. So, Dad likes to give people their privacy. And I don't want THAT LOOK again. And that brings me back to the neighbor. He and his wife are very pleasant people, really. They do regular stuff, like wash the car, paint the garage, and pick up their mail. But every time they do these things, I think, 'Oh my gosh, Mr. Famous Person is washing his car! Wow!' or 'Mr. Famous Person is wearing shorts while he paints his garage-I can't believe it!' And I even contemplated calling my sister today to tell her all about how when I stood out on my parent's front stoop playing with J and MFP came up and said, "Hey, you guys aren't locked out, are you?" Oh my goodness, he's talking to me--ME! What do I say? Act natural, breathe, breathe. "No, we're just waiting for my husband. My son really wants to show him his new toy", at which point J holds up his new ball and says, "See?" MFP said, "Yeah, ok," and walks into his house. I mean, I would say that passed for an actual CONVERSATION with MFP. Will wonders never cease. Why do we get this way around celebrities? I haven't seen MFP do a single stupid, silly, or celebrity type thing at all ever, and yet every time I see him, I feel awed that I get to watch him, even do something as mundane as, you know, OPEN HIS GARAGE. It's pathetic, truly. And yet, like a trainwreck, I just can't look away. So let's hear your Mr. Famous Person stories, and how you are in awe of a moment like seeing Kristi Yamaguchi eating french fries at Logan airport, or Harry Connick Jr. grunting to you as he signs the program you push towards him, or shaking John Travolta's hand. Ah, if life were made of moments.... Oh, and just to make this post somewhat Mommy related, I should inform you that halfway through the writing of this post, J crawled into my lap in a seemingly loving mood, snuggled up to my face for what I surely assumed would be a kiss, and blew his nose all over my cheek. Oh yeah, I'm treasuring these Mommy moments. Every snot filled one.


Blogger R2K said...

: )

5/30/2006 06:59:00 PM  
Anonymous jbn said...

I think I know which MFP you are talking about. But there's no better MFP than PP. Enough said.

5/30/2006 11:05:00 PM  
Blogger hairyshoefairy said...

I was a Christmas Caroler in Sun Valley, Idaho one year with a bunch of college students and saw lots of celebs were there for the holidays. It was funny. I think all of us were so not expecting to really see anyone that when we did it didn't immediately register in our brains. I have to say, though, it was cool to have Bruce Willis come out of a resteraunt and join us in singing happy birthday to his daughter and it was funny to hear Tom Hanks say something like, "let's go this way, buddy" to his son, like any old daddy might do.

5/30/2006 11:29:00 PM  
Blogger The Wiz said...

Heather, he's not that famous.

5/30/2006 11:37:00 PM  
Blogger Eve said...

Heather, I love the way you tell this. I've never had any Mr./Ms. Famous Person encounters, but then, I almost backed over a bicyclist this morning--I saw him in my reearview mirror but I was thinking about other things, as usual, and somehow bicyclist in reearview mirror did not equal, in my slow mind, STOP.

So a celebrity could probably stick his or her face right into mine and I wouldn't notice.

5/30/2006 11:50:00 PM  
Blogger Tracy M said...

When you talked about Karl Malone, I kept thinking you meant that old guy with the large nose from the Streets of San Francisco- !

Only famous person I ever met personally was Steve Jobs, and he used to come into a place I worked a lot.

5/31/2006 12:22:00 AM  
Blogger ubercyl said...

I was reduced to a nonsensical, blathering mess when I was in a waiting room for 15 minutes with Harrison Ford, his wife, and the boy I "nannied" in upstate NY. So I talked to Melissa Matheson, who was very friendly and down-to-earth, and let the boy talk to the great and gorgeous Mr. Ford. Who is so, so hot in person, in a suit, with that scar.

Blathering mess.

5/31/2006 11:05:00 AM  
Blogger Trivial Mom said...

Ray Allen -- Star player for the Seattle Sonics -- talked to googie in the grocery store. She was wearing a sonics team jacket. Funny thing is I didn't even know it was him, and kind of wanted him to stop talking to her. I mean this huge black guy wearing sweats was high-fiving my 15 month old. Kind of freaked me out.

5/31/2006 02:30:00 PM  
Blogger Ana said...

I was sitting in the SLC airport with my inlaws, when I looked up and there was Prince riding by on one of those little airport golf cart things. This was during the "Artist Formerly Known As" era. I recognized him because he was a very small man in a broad-shouldered white suit with enormous sunglasses. Also because I knew he was playing Salt Lake that evening.

So I, like a genius, said, "Hey, that's PRINCE!" Nice and loud.

It was awesome.

5/31/2006 04:28:00 PM  
Blogger gurlpurl said...

When I was 8 years old I was at the Monterey Bay Aquarium with my mother and sister...and we ran into Jimmy Stewart! I ran up to him, and shook his hand!
Since then, I've had lots of run-in's with celebrities...Joe Montana, Cameron Diaz, Sir Mixalot, Eddie Vedder, Krist Noveselic, Busta Rhymes...
Isn't that really weird?! I never freaked out over meeting someone "famous" until I met the local weatherman (I love the weather!) Steve Pool in Seattle. I didn't stop blabbing about it to my husband for days.
Jimmy Stewart was still the coolest though.

5/31/2006 09:16:00 PM  
Anonymous mrs w said...

My dad has been on the local ABC station news team for 20 years. It still makes me smile when we're in line for Coldstone and three different people come up to talk to him. He gets all embarrassed, but is such a social person, he can talk to anyone like an old high school friend. But growing up with a local celeb kinda numbed me to any swooning over "real" celebraties. And when I first met my husband, whose father is somewhat famous in the LDS world, I *so* didn't fall for his attempt to impress me with his, "My dad is ____ " line.

Still, my favorite celeb story is running into Ed Vedder when I was in Seattle for a Pearl Jam concert a few years ago. It was the weekend I turned 21 and I had a group of friends with me, also PJ nuts, but I recognized him first. I went right up, stuck out my hand and said, "I LOVE Pearl Jam!" He smiled, shook my hand, and said thanks. I can now die in peace.

6/01/2006 01:33:00 AM  
Anonymous JKS said...

My worst famous person story is when my husband had a class with a former BYU football player that I had had the biggest crush on in 9th grade, maybe 8-9 years earlier. He introduced me. I tend to be like Heather's dad and treat celebs like regular people and like it is no big deal.
Anyway, later I told my husband about how yes, of course I knew who he was because I had been in love with him all those years ago.
What did my husband do? He told the guy I had had a crush on him.
It was kind of torture to see him the rest of the semester off and on. What was my husband thinking!?! (He kind of wondered that himself). But at least this guy's reply had been "that makes me feel old" so maybe I wasn't the only one embarrassed. But I have to admit after that my smiles and nods were a little standoffish.

6/02/2006 04:40:00 AM  
Anonymous JKS said...

Like Heather, I've decided to NOT tell you who the famous person is just to torture you. This particular famous person was on the 1984 National Championship team, but it was actually the following season that he was the object of my teenage adoration.

6/02/2006 04:43:00 AM  

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