When do kids figure out you're an idiot?

You may have heard about our garden. DH may have mentioned it a time or two . But now it's the end of summer, and we have lots of tomatoes. Lots. So, I thought I would be ambitious and make fresh, homemade tomato soup to use up some of our tomatoes. And really, how hard could that be? Everything started out fine, until the recipe called to "puree until smooth." I figured that meant stick everything in the blender, so I poured my simmering mixture into the blender and turned it on high, while Jacob played with cars at my feet. Mistake number one. The blurpy mixture practically exploded, and in a fraction of a second, half of my kitchen was covered in onions and partially boiled tomato stuff. Unfortunately, Jacob's box of goldfish crackers was next to the blender, and he saw it get covered in goosh. He was not pleased. Jacob: "Hey, you got my Goldfish dirty! Move them out of the way! And who got all that stuff on the walls? Who got the walls dirty, Mommy?" Me:"Um, who do you think?" He gave me a shrewd look I would not have thought capable of a 3 year old, grabbed his box of crackers, and went back to his cars and his goldfish after I cleaned the orange sludge off of them. So then I thought the blender was too full, so I poured out some of the mixture, realigned the blender, and tried it again. Mistake number two. The results, sadly, were exactly the same, except this time, I covered the kitchen, the floor, AND my Sunday clothes with said glurpy orange sludge. Jacob looked up at the mixture of sounds that included the blender being turned rapidly on and then rapidly off, my screeches of pain and alarm, and the orange goop hitting the wall yet again. Jacob:"Mommy, what are you doing? Why are you getting those walls so dirty?" Again, the shrewd look was on his face, and I tried to laugh. He just kept looking at me, not laughing, and I thought, "Great. He's only 3, and he's already figured out his mother is capable of being a complete idiot." C'mon, people, he's only 3! I thought I had at least 5 good years before he figured it out. I cleaned up the sludge, and tried to serve the pathetic soup for dinner. It was nasty. We went for a family walk, and then DH made us all hotdogs for dinner. At least I wasn't cleaning up puke anymore.


Anonymous Beanie said...

Forget asking when your kids figure out you’re an idiot...as long as I figure out the "idiot "things I do (which are a lot of things) first, before everyone else does, then I can laugh it off later! Sometimes I feel sorry for my family because of the crazy unexplainable "idiot" things I do! ;)

8/29/2005 10:13:00 AM  
Blogger The Wiz said...

Two words:Food Processor.

Best thing (for the kitchen) I ever bought.

8/29/2005 11:38:00 AM  
Blogger Jonas said...

Um.... It thought blenders had lids.

8/29/2005 12:57:00 PM  
Blogger Liesl said...

I use a hand blender and it works really well. I've got a great roasted tomato soup recipie if you're ready to give it another go.

8/29/2005 04:07:00 PM  
Blogger Heather O. said...


My blender DOES have a lid, and I used the lid--both times! The second time, I even made doubly sure that it was on there tight, thinking, "Wow, I sure don't want to do that again." Maybe it was the heat of the mixture that made it explode? Beats the heck out of me. But please, even though it sounds like I don't deserve it, give me a tiny bit of credit, won't you?

8/29/2005 09:17:00 PM  
Blogger Lisa M. said...

Ah, my dear. Good for your DH. And good for you!

I agree with the wiz.

Dave M. Has obviously not processed tomatoes before.

I'll give you credit!


8/29/2005 10:18:00 PM  
Blogger Heather O. said...


I would love your roasted tomato soup recipe. And I LOVE the new picture on the profile. When are you going to join us permanently :)?

8/29/2005 10:24:00 PM  
Blogger Mardell said...

Any hot mixture you blend in a blender will explode. You either need to cool it off before blending or use a hot pad to hold the lid on really tight and blend slowly in short bursts. I do believe this is becasue the steam and heat make the air expand and it blows the top.

8/31/2005 03:10:00 AM  
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10/08/2005 12:24:00 PM  

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