Mom incognito

This week marks my first official week back into the work force. It's not a spectacular entry--I'm only working about 10 hours a week, give or take, but it's definitely added something extra to my schedule, to be sure. The transition was a little bumpy, and we had some unexpected child-care issues, but all in all, everything went pretty well. My first day, I felt like a spy in disguise. People kept asking me questions about patients, looking to me to give answers, asking for my signature on mounds of paperwork. I even got to wear a nametag. All of these things made me giggle a little bit on the inside, because the whole time I was thinking, "Ha! These people don't realize that they're not talking to a speech pathologist, they're really talking to a MOM!" The whole day felt like that until the other speech pathologist said, "So, where else do you work?" BUSTED! I paused for a second, contemplating some pithy and enigmatic reply, but nothing came. I finally just said, "This is it. I have a son at home, and the rest of the time I'm a mom." I felt she had exposed my secret, and I wondered what she would think. To my surprise, her face lit up and she said, "Oh, that's what I want to do when I have kids! I'm getting married this year, and when we have kids, I don't want to work either! Has it worked out for you?" I smiled back at her and said, "Yeah, it's worked out great." And it has. Of course, when I went back to my regular life, I expected a huge welcome, hail the conquering hero, all of that. After all, Jacob's mother had been gone for hours! How had he survived? When I walked in, Jacob just looked up from snuggling with his Daddy while watching a movie and said, "Oh, hey Mom." So much for the hero's welcome. At least he didn't say, "Hey, I'm hungry. Go make dinner." Well, not immediately, anyway.


Blogger Lisa M. said...


I really really really wish you would just come live at my house for a while and give me some pointers *S* You could even bring your little guy!


I think that is awsome. Our Speech therapist, only has four patients and does home health care, and I think with the exception of the driving, really enjoys it. And the truth be told, she has brought her little girls more than once. *Smile*

I think the delicate balance of working and mothering is tough. It sounds like you have a handle on it, and that is wonderful.

I have tried a variety of things, working at home, not working, working at night, working part time. I have had a struggle to find the balance.

Now with Ethan, I just "run" but I miss the spending money and I miss the "me" time.

Thank you so much for this post. You have no idea, how grateful I am for the things you write.

Well, except about the snake. WHAT IS THAT? *chuckle* (We do have an iguana) but no live food, thank goodness. Uck.

11/13/2005 04:53:00 PM  
Blogger Tracy M said...

Congrats Heather on making the big move back into the "work" world. How exciting and happy for you.

I can definately relate to the incognito-mom thing. When I go out on appointments for my home-based business, I feel so weird when people take me seriously and talk to me like a professional. Sometimes I feel like a kid playing dress-up, and if I am not careful, they will see that I am only pretending to be a grown-up. Although I might feel this way even if I wasn't a mom!

When I come home, I always hope for running hugs and trumpets, but usually just get the "what'd you bring me?" welcome!

11/13/2005 11:50:00 PM  
Blogger Island Queen said...

Congratulations Heather on a good first week! That's awesome!

I hope it continues to work out well for you :-)

11/14/2005 04:15:00 AM  
Blogger Andrea Wright said...

Heather, good for you. Hopefully the bumps are worked out. Don't you love how much we worry and stew about leaving our kids and then come home to find they didn't even miss us?! (I've decided they don't miss us because we worry and stew and have everything laid out and all the instructions their babysitter could possibly need to know).

Anyway, the way you described feeling like a phony in a professional world is sometimes how I still feel about being a Mom. Sometimes I still feel like I'm really about 14 and just playing house and why is everybody asking me everything?

11/14/2005 11:20:00 AM  
Blogger Ana said...

It's so great that you found a PT opportunity, Heather. I'm jealous! And I know what you mean about feeling like and imposter! I've been at work since July '04 and I still feel it, especially after a long weekend ...

11/14/2005 04:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Rachel J said...

I discovered MMW a few days ago and thought the SAHM thing was literal--apparently not. I feel a bit braver about commenting now.

I work about 16 hrs a week and just wanted to give you a little pat on the back, and tell you can make it work. As Lisa said, it is a delicate balance. We're trying to do the best for ourselves, our children, our economics, etc, etc. Best of luck to you!

By the way...I'm 36, have a 5 yr old and 2 yr old, and think that working is tons easier than being at home--which is where guilt comes in about working, for me, anyway.

11/14/2005 07:11:00 PM  
Blogger Carrie said...

I'm more with Andrea. I feel far more comfortable when I am working in my field than when I am being a mom. I think I feel l am better at being a designer than I am at being a mom (at least for now), so I feel more confident in that arena. The funny thing is when people ask what I do, I automatically say I am a SAHM even though I work about 20 hours a week. I wonder why that is?

11/14/2005 07:43:00 PM  
Blogger Mormon Family Man said...

This is a great blog---you guys are hilarious!

My wife just recently started going to school again, so we're going through something similar. But she seems to love being a mom even more because of it!

Congratulations and good luck!

11/16/2005 10:11:00 AM  
Blogger Kim Siever said...

The last part reminds me of my first extended stay away from my family. It was about two years ago and I was in the young men presidency. We went on a four-day camp.

Given that my children run down the sidewalk when they see me comign from the bus stop, I figured they'd be jumping all over me when I walked in the door.

They were watching a movie and looked up and said,"Hi, Papa". They went back to watching the movie.

Oddly enough when I went to Vancouver last summer for five days and Seattle this summer for four days, they bawled their eyes out when I left.


11/17/2005 02:45:00 PM  

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