9/29/2005

A Day of Rest?

Do any of you find Sundays restful? Ive decided they're my most exhausting days. I need the other six days to recuperate from Sunday.
By the time Ive had meetings, figured out and found what everyone's wearing, fixed hair, fed everyone, prepared and timed dinner so it can be ready when we get home at 5:15, wrestled three kids during Sacrament meeting, contained 130 kids in primary, throw dinner on the table and eat -- I am beyond tired. My kids are ready for some action at that point and I am counting the minutes to bedtime.
I often go to bed and realize that other than attending Church (and lets face it, how much can you get out of it when youre glaring at, shushing* and removing kids), I havent done one thing that resembles personal or family worship or study.
*(My 2 yr. old has picked up on the game my girls play in the car that whenever they see a VW bug, they yell "Slugbug!" Well, he has no idea there is any sort of context or reason for yelling so at random moments hell just start yelling "Fwug-bug!!!!!" and one lucky week that moment happened to be in the middle of Sacrament meeting.)
My husband is very helpful, but I know I don't utilize him like I should because I care what my kids' hair looks and like their clothes to match. :)
Bottom line -- I'm desperate for any suggestions on how you've made Sundays meaningful restful days in your home.

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm right there with you. I hate Sundays. Getting ready for church isn't so bad for me, but church itself is really hard.

Sacrament Meeting is exhausting, trying to keep my 1, 2, and 4 year old quiet and in their seats. When our entire family ended up in the foyer last week during SM, I just looked at DH and said, "Why are we even coming?" That's how bad it is. Even after 2 and 4 get deposited into nursery and sunbeams, church remains one long struggle with a newly walking just turned one year old. DH has a calling that prevents him from being able to take the baby, so I get absolutely nothing out of church except for frustration right now. Well, and a little bit of social interaction with the other moms who are out in the hallway with their toddlers.

9/29/2005 11:43:00 AM  
Blogger annegb said...

Yeah, when my kids were all home, Sundays were my worst days.

My husband is (no joke, this is for real) ADHD and OCD. You have no idea how many times he has missed being killed by my bare hands.

But Sundays are hard days for him because I won't let him work. So he's a nervous wreck, in and out and around the house.

I love nice peaceful Sundays, I honor the Sabbath, I like to write in my journal and read uplifting books and rest spiritually. I am surrounded by this crazy person who's never read a book in his life.

I, like you, consider Sunday to be a trying day.

9/29/2005 12:05:00 PM  
Blogger Mrs. M said...

I agree that Sundays can be exhausting. I consider Sacrament mtg a success if our family doesn't disrupt anyone else's worship (we have a 2yo and 6mo). We let 2yo help pack his own bag of books, toys, snacks, which really helps. Our ward is extremely supportive of parents with young kids - the nursery invites younger kids to come to nursery and/or other Primary staff helps care for 6mo when I'm teaching.

For me, a nap on Sunday is really important. DH knows that I'm a grouchy lady when I'm tired, and if the kids don't nap, he watches them while I nap. Some Sundays I don't need a nap, and I watch the kids while he naps. Some Sundays (these are my favorites) EVERYone gets a nap.

9/29/2005 12:52:00 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

Hey, new to this blog, and loving it!
I have a couple of ideas...find a ward that meets earlier in the day, so you don't spend all morning worrying about church, instead a hurried 30 minutes right before! Get a calling like mine, I read stories from the Friend in Primary once a month!!! The rest I'm free to relax, especially now that my twin 3 year olds are settled into Primary. Ok, I guess you can't really control those things, but you can ease the cooking burden by going out to dinner, just kidding about that too. So, I guess what I'm saying is, it's tough...make the best of what you can, try to find the time to do something uplifting for yourself during the week, and especially on Sundays; so you can remember why you take your family to church, and are teaching them the wonderful values that will lead them back to our Heavenly Father.

9/29/2005 01:59:00 PM  
Blogger The Wiz said...

Although it doesn't seem like it, you are doing something very valuable by going through this every week.

You are teaching your children that your family goes to church on Sunday. You are also teaching them that it's worth making sacrifices for.

Crock pot dinner is always a must on Sunday, to ease that load. And you can have your DH help in this area. It doesn't matter if the plates match, right? Also, I know you've probably tried this, but choosing clothes the night before really is helpful.

Also, it sounds like you have a really hard time for church. Hang in there until it changes.

I, too, am big on naps on Sunday, although with your church time, that's hard. But it's a must for me, if I'm not stuck somewhere else for dinner.

9/29/2005 02:51:00 PM  
Blogger Tracy M said...

Oh, man, do I ever hear you! Sundays are about the hardest day of the week! My just-2 and just-4 year olds always have us out in the hall, and I wonder why we even try...
Not that I am one to be able to help, when my life is a mess too, but:
1.The crock-pot is a God-send, and maybe even was invented just for Mormon women on Sundays.

2. It has helped to quit caring if the kids match, because if my husband gets them dressed, I will NOT complain; I cannot care if their pants are too short and their socks are different!

3. We have also implemented a "go nowhere besides church" on Sundays policy. At first I thought this might be a bummer and make us miss out on dinners with family and friends, but it had actually made Sundays-post-church easier. We don't even discuss invites, and life is simpler.

Good luck, and know that there are thousands of us out wandering the hallways in buildings all over the world!

9/29/2005 03:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looking forward to Conference weekend!

9/29/2005 04:33:00 PM  
Blogger Heather O. said...

I agree, Sundays are difficult, but the Wiz is right. You go to teach children that church is important. And if you suddenly up and started going when they could handle it, (you konw, like when they're sixteen!), they wouldn't understand why all of a sudden you are going. After all, you never cared before. So, it's really a good thing.

That said, do all the things everyone's already suggested: crock pot for dinner (personally, I like baking a turkey breast. You salp some olive oil on it, some salt and pepper, stick it in, and it's beautiful when you come home. Then you have leftover turkey you can use in pretty much any recipe that calls for cooked chicken for the rest of the week. It's very, very nice!),drugs to get your kids to nap, etc. ANd just remember that someday you will actually enjoy sacrament meeting again. It just might take another 15 years, though!

9/29/2005 05:13:00 PM  
Blogger melissa c said...

I'll tell ya, I now have a calling where I can have a peaceful Sunday. I'm ward choir director and music chairman. I get to go to sunday school and Relief Society! Yea! Such a nice change from primary. Just tell your bishop that you quit! *smile* Wish it were that easy. I guess you will be there until Heavenly Father wants you somewhere else. At least you're not the bishop! Thank heavens women don't hold the priesthood! I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole!

9/29/2005 05:58:00 PM  
Blogger annegb said...

One thing I do now that I'm old and sort of senile is make comments to kids like "church is so boring, don't you think?" And you guys, the relief on those poor kids' faces is just sadder than heck. They are all thinking they are sinners and can't talk to their parents.

I offered one girl a beer once at my house and she looked at me with big eyes and said, "okay." Then of course, I said, oh honey, I don't have any beer. I was just yanking your chain. She was 11. Now she looks at me strangely evey time I see her. I will probably have to account to God for that.

9/30/2005 10:03:00 AM  
Blogger Lianne said...

Elder Gene Cook's son is in our ward, and last year Elder Cook visited and took the time to speak to us. We are a ward of many hundreds of little children. Elder Cook said, "For those of you mothers out there that think it isn't worth it to be here... for those who think that your time would be better spent at home, I testify to you that the angels of God are with you and that your experiences at church will better you lives and the lives of your children. You are where you are supposed to be."

I guess we have to change our picture sometimes on what it means to be "in church".

Great blog!

9/30/2005 10:37:00 AM  
Blogger Lisa M. said...

anngb: You crack me up. *smile*

I have to admit, I feel the same way about church. It is a struggle.

One thing we have done is Take and Bake pizza. I watch for the coupons, buy them Sat and cook'em up Sunday, add a quick salad, and that works well.

I also have templates, for a church book. Colouring pages, little games, that all have an LDS theme. I print them out, and bind them, each year for my neices and nephews. If you would like the PDF file, feel free to email me. Lisa@Madsenfamily.net

My teens, almost are as hard now as they were when they were young. I know I have done something terribly wrong, but I am most offended by their behavior some weeks. Like, when my 14 year old almost yells.. USE YOUR RIGHT HAND FOR THE SACRAMENT, YA DUMMY. Okay. That is really neat? Isn't it. *rolling eyes*

My 6 year old neice (the same one that told me I had a really big bum, but it was ohhhhhhhh so pretty like a violin!) bore her testimony last week. She said, I swear "I love my Mom and Dad, and my sisters, and well my brother too, I guess. Since he promised me that at least this week, he would not shoot me with his new 22!)

*laughing* SO your Slug Bug comment... should suffice, as it was said by at 2 year old. *grin*

We also had a young man (8) who came to church with a nice suit on, however, when he removed his jacket, he had tampons tied to his belt loops. They were his "handgrinades"

Point is, kids will be kids, and HOPEFULLY the ward is very understanding.

Good luck to ya~!

9/30/2005 10:49:00 AM  
Blogger Andrea Wright said...

Thank you all of you for your wonderful comments and empathy. It is very comforting to know that it's not just me.

Anne, your husbandy sounds a little like mine, except I'll be able to read and journal to my hearts' delight as long as there's a game on :) Also, I'm headed to St. George in a few weeks, maybe I'll stop by the Cedar City Wal-mart and say hello!

Erin, I'm so with you on the nap. I haven't gotten one the last few weeks which is why I'm grumpy about sundays lately. I need to put that at the top of my list!

Carol, welcome to the blog -- glad to have you! I like your suggestions :) You're right about keeping it in perspective I think it boils down to being in the right place at the right time and if that means we're all out in the foyer yelling "fwug bug" so be it, right?

Wiz, Crock pots are a complete life-saver! Do you have any fabulous crock pot cook books? Maybe we should start a new feature of a crock pot recipe each week -- I need some more! A few more months and we'll be chaning to the 9:00 time -- yeah!!

Tracy, I'm intrigued by your go-nowhere-on-Sunday policy. My only exception would be if someone else is cooking dinner -- I'm there!

Heather, I like your turkey idea -- I'll have to try that. You sound like a real cook, I'm impressed.

Melissa, I'm glad you feel you have a nice peaceful calling that calling would scare me to death!

Lianne, it's good to hear those reminders -- thank you so much for sharing.

Lisa, your stories are hilarious! I love a good entertaining Sacrament Meeting unless it's my kid doing the entertaining!

9/30/2005 11:39:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For me, every sunday since we've had kids has been a struggle to Not Be A Bitter, Angry Woman. I have a happy marriage and good life, but for about four hours every week I want to strangle my husband and kids.

My husband is a very nice guy, very helpful with the kids, etc, but there's only so much he can do to get the kids ready (with two girls I always have hair duty, and they complain loudly every single time), and he's pretty unorganized to begin with so I'm always feeling harried by the time we get to church (and annoyed by his refusal to speed on the way there).

Then he generally falls asleep first thing in sacrament mtg, which as far as I can tell is something he's never been able to help. I really struggle to not poke him viciously in the ribs when he does this (while I'm dealing with the 3 kids who try hard to be good, but never quite succeed). Then on to primary (I'm in the presidency, which is a great calling, but never restfull). It's such a relief to get in the car to go home and turn into Jekyll again after fighting off my inner Mr. Hyde for four hours.

I have to say my patience is improving, but some weeks I'm so full of ill-will I feel guilty taking the sacrament.

10/02/2005 08:22:00 PM  
Blogger Goochie said...

I was thinking this yesterday as I actually did have a peaceful Sunday. I took the walkman outside (after searching for it for who knows how long) & picked vegetables while I listened to the afternoon session of conference. DH watched Jr & it was WONDERFUL. I 'listened' to the other sessions (as much as I could between all the disruptions)and I honestly don't remember much of those sessions. However, yesterday afternoon was very informative to me.

So, going back to your blog. The last few months at church I've been going home thinking 'Did I get anything out of church today?'. I spend all of Primary trying to get the 6 yr old I teach to be somewhat quiet & sit like the angels in the other class that are the same age. Then during Sacrament meeting, I spend all my energy trying to get Jr not to scream as he is trying to escape into the aisle. Needless to say, he's been winning lately & is either in the aisle or outside of the chapel. By the way, any one have any ideas on how to entertain a 13 month old during Sacrament meeting? Ideas on how to stop him from escaping?

I basically go to church so I can take the Sacrament & hope that I can learn something in the midst of the chaos on our bench.

As far as ideas to make Sundays easier, thanks every one for their comments. I was wondering the same thing!

10/03/2005 05:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Pam W. said...

Monday has become my favorite day of the week because I'm so relieved that Sunday is over! And watching General Conference at home ... bliss!

We have 4-year-old twins (one of whom is autistic and LOVES to run away from you down the hall and HATES to sit in the meeting) and a 13-month-old baby. We spend a lot of time in the halls. When I was nursing every two hours I told DH that they should have a video feed from Sunday school, R.S., etc., to the mothers' room.

We love the 9 a.m. meeting time because at noon we're DONE and we can all take naps! Unfortunately, we're going to lose that time in a couple months ...

10/04/2005 11:01:00 PM  
Blogger Heather O. said...

Goochie--

Jacob was impossible in Sacrament mtg when he was Jr's age. I used to think it was because I didn't bring him enough stuff to do, so I tried packing everything but the kitchen sink to church. One time I brought some simple puzzles I thought we would like. I quickly stopped that when he picked up a puzzle piece and hucked it as hard as he could across the chapel. Luckily it didn't bean anybody in the head, it just landed harmlessly on the floor. We were out in the hall yet again that day, and DH had to hunt for that puzzle piece after the mtg was over. So, suggestions to entertain them? Sorry, I'm all out!

Andrea-

I am SO not a real cook. I'm just constantly banging my head against the wall thinking, "What's for dinner?", and having some ready-to-go turkey sometimes alleviates the pain. When all else fails, at least we can have turkey sandwiches for dinner!

10/05/2005 10:04:00 AM  
Blogger Heather O. said...

Sorry to threadjack but here's just one more turkey tip. Throw some buillion cubes into a pot of water, bring it to a boil, then add some onions, garlic, celery, carrots, let it boil again, then toss in some noodles and the leftover turkey, and viola! Homemade chicken (erm, I mean turkey!) noodle soup to die for. I also throw in some herbs (mostly basil and parsley) and some salt and pepper. It's easy, it's fast, it's relatively healthy, and I swear every kid will eat it.

10/05/2005 10:08:00 AM  
Blogger Yogi-girl said...

I have had several great sisters give me excellent advice:

* Your kids won't be calm (ie reverent) unless you are.

* Fail. Not only will your Sundays be less full of stuff-to-do, you'll get fewer callings. "Failure" in my book is now "being closer to Christ by not getting caught up in Church hyperactivity."

* Focus on your own spiritual state-of-being FIRST.

For us, it had nothing to do with a well-packed Church bag. All the angst and busy-ness was coming from ME.

My four kids and especially my husband were happy adjusting to me slowing down. Now we all make dinner together when we come home (slowly, while talking). We leave all the noise off. Sometimes we lounge around; sometimes we go to the park or library in the afernoon. It's really nice.

10/05/2005 04:59:00 PM  
Blogger Yogi-girl said...

I'm curious if it's just me... Have the rest of you noticed this too? I've noticed that the moms that are busy, wiggly, worried tend to have busy, wiggly, unfocued kids? Do the kids really mimic their parents that much? Who is irreverent first: momma-chicken or baby-egg?

Try looking out over the congregation next Sunday. Is it just me or is there a real correlation between wiggly-kid & wiggly-mom?

10/05/2005 05:06:00 PM  
Blogger Heather O. said...

Yogi-girl-

What a great question. We might just have to make it its very own post: The example moms set for their kids, and how much their children mimic them.

I think that it can go both ways. My kid is high energy and loud, and likes to create worlds and events in his head that he likes to act out. I did the same thing as a kid, so some of it must be genetic, but I know that when I play with him (and especially when DH plays with him), the play is loud and energetic. He can be sarcastic, but I realized he is sarcastic because DH and I are often sarcastic to each other, and he's learning.

On the other hand, I know a kid whose mom doesn't spend a huge amount of time with her (there's lots of kids in the family, and there is a full-time, live in nanny), and so when her mom IS around, she is bratty, willfull, and outrageous, I think just to get her mom's attention. She does not act that way with babysitters, or when her parents are not around.

But seriously, we might have to explore this idea in a full post. Thanks for the thoughts!

10/06/2005 07:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Heather H said...

You guys a great! I love lurking around thsi place. I have made comments so many times about Sunday not being a day of rest, my DH gentlyr eminds me that it is a rest from wordly cares....so I continue to go to all my meetings :)

As for kids, at this point we have two, I get the 3 1/2 yr old and my DH gets the baby because he has this amazing ability to put her to sleep which I can't do. When the kids out number the parents i don't know what we'll do. I have heard the suggestion offered that you should have on eof the YW come sit with you and help you with the kids. Being in the YW's pres. I can tell you that some of the YW would LOVE to sit with little kids rather than sit with their folks and fain interest in the speakers.

Goochie-When my 3yo was 13months, books were the key to quiet sacrament meetings. I don't mean so quiet that it was almost a normal sacrament meeting, but as quiet as a 13mo. old can be. I would bring a few of his fav. board books and quietly whisper/read them into his ear. I go tnothing out of sacrament meeting, but I at least kept my child from disturbing others.

So nice to know other women attend the hallway sunday school class as well!

10/06/2005 11:29:00 PM  
Blogger Yogi-girl said...

Heather O.

Highly active kid? Have you tried pillow-fighting, racing, dancing w/ loud music, anything that 1. raises the heart rate, 2. involves the whole body, and 3. involves some squishing (eg, the pillow fighting).

Kids need a certain amount of sensory input, oxygen intake, etc. A wiggley kid is just a body trying to get what it needs.

I learned this lesson well last spring when I took my muscular, active 3 yo on a 22 hr overseas flight with three lay-overs. I had the option of checking the stroller then realized "Doh!!" How stupid is that to keep a child sedentary. It was risky to be without a stroller in the various airports with short layovers, but we did it & it was so wickedly fun. We made all the old people laugh when they saw my red-headed 3 yo running like her bum was on fire.

I'm preaching to the choir here, but find out how much physical activity your child needs before he naturally wants a rest & time it so that that rest period comes during Sacrament. (And don't give him only half of what he needs. That's called "getting him riled up.")

10/07/2005 04:47:00 PM  

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