Taking care of baby

We've had some sick folks at our house this week, as mentioned previously. But the title of the post does not have to dowith taking care of my sick small child, who seems to have recovered rather nicely. Instead, the baby I am referring to is my DH, the love of my life, the man for whom I've forsaken all others. Yes, DH is sick. Sick as a dog. Sick as in I'm-not-going-in-to-work-I-don't-care-if-they-fire-me-I'll-be-dead-in-the-morning-anyway sick. The official diagnosis is strep-throat and severe dehydration, which is actually a relief. Those are things that can be treated. We were worried that it was a relapse of mono, that hideous disease that took him down his third year in law school. Right now we are cheering for antibiotics. And I have to say, I used to like taking care of my husband. I recall an incident right after we were married when he got sick, and I did everything necessary to bring him back to optimal health. I brought his hot Thera-flu, I rubbed his neck, I rubbed his feet, fetched him water, brought him drugs (seems to be theme in our family!), all that stuff. He looked deep into my eyes and said, "Wow. I love having a wife. You're the best." Hmm. Things have changed a little bit since then. Somehow I'm just not as sympathetic when my dh gets sick. Maybe the arrival of our son changed my attitude, the thought, "Now I have to take care of you TOO?" Maybe we've been married long enough that I no longer have to go to great lengths to prove what a great catch I am. Maybe it's the thought that when he's sick, he gets to take a day off work and lie in bed and watch the special features of "Return of the King", but when I'm sick, puking my guts out with a pregnancy, or burning up with fever, he says, "Call ya from the office later!" and skips out the door while I'm begging, bleary-eyed and delirious, for him to stay. Or maybe it's the whining. My husband is normally an energetic, happy go lucky, peacemaker kind of guy (his arguments on Times and Seasons notwithstanding!). But once a germ gets a hold of him, he turns into a quivering, shaking, helpless, whining mass of humanity. The simplest tasks paralyze him. I even had to call the doctor for him and describe the symptoms because my usually overarticulate husband could only manage a weak, "Umm...uh-huh-...I think...it's...yeah...I'm sick." Anybody else have these problems with your eternal companions? Actually, DH is on the mend, for which we are all grateful. Yesterday he took a shower, put on clean clothes for the first time in 3 days, and I think he even brushed his teeth. But still, I wait for the plaintitive cry from the bedroom: "Heather, do we have any Thera-flu?"


Blogger Kaimi said...

I hope you're feeling better soon, Heather.


4/06/2005 04:34:00 PM  
Anonymous JKS said...

I feel EXACTLY the same way. EXACTLY.

4/06/2005 05:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Andrea Wright said...

A few years ago my husband had had the flu for several days and was truly miserable. However, he suddenly decided it was a crisis and made me call 911 because he couldn't get up to get in the car for me to drive him to urgent care or the hospital. Soon there were like 6 huge men (paramedics)standing in my bedroom asking me what was wrong with my husband -- "um...he has the flu."

In his defence, he was quite dehydrated and they gave him an IV which really helped him. One of the things I love most about my husband is his ability to laugh at himself and we've had a lot of chuckles over this one.

4/06/2005 06:57:00 PM  
Blogger The Wiz said...

Yes, men whine a TON when they are sick. File it under: Things I didn't know about life when I got married.

4/06/2005 07:03:00 PM  
Blogger TftCarrie said...

I have to say that it has been a long time since my dh has been "too sick to go to work" sick. But when he does get sick, he's more of a "stay away from me until I'm feeling better" kind of guy. There is accompanying whining though and I definitely tend to get annoyed. I want to be a caring and compassionate wife, but I think that since becoming a mom, I get those same feelings of "Now I have to take care of you TOO?” I also have jealous feelings of my pre-child life when I could actually take the time to be really sick.—something that husbands seem to be able to hold onto a little bit longer.

Here’s the worst “taking care of baby story” though: A year and a half ago, my dh was in a really bad motorcycle accident where he shattered his ankle and broke his collar bone. After I knew he was going to live, my next immediate thought was again: "Now I have to take care of you TOO?" At the time, my 13 month old daughter (who learned to walk while dh was in the hospital) seemed to be requiring so much of me and now by husband was going to be basically immobile for a month. This was like a million times worse than any sickness he had gone through – mono included (although that was pretty bad too). It really was like taking care of another baby. Not only did I have to administer medicine and make sure that he had food to eat, I had to bathe him, dress him, comb his hair, and help him with some other really personal chores that I would really like to forget. The only good thing about this experience was there was no whining involved (at least not by dh), but that was probably because the accident happened when he crashed after jumping his dirtbike 100 feet. I have to admit that I did not have much compassion and I think he saw the same in my eyes everytime I brought him a new glass of icewater. And just to make you all feel more compassion for me, this all happened during a 2-week visit to my in-laws which then turned into a 6+ week stay while dh recovered enough be able to fly home and hobble up the steps to our third floor apartment.

4/06/2005 09:36:00 PM  
Blogger Heather O. said...

Carrie L-

Wow. You totally win. I think the whole thing happening at your in-laws house was the kicker. Who wants to be in charge of taking care of her husband when the husband's OWN MOTHER is hovering around? I can't possibly think of anything more hideous. You deserve some serious gold stars on your forehead!

4/06/2005 11:33:00 PM  
Blogger annegb said...

In our house, I am the caretaker. If my husband is sick, I take care of him. If my daughter is sick, I take of her. If I am sick, I take care of me.

A few days ago, my daughter was sick and her leg hurt because they hit a nerve giving her the antibiotic shot. She got mad at her boyfriend and was ready to dump him because he wasn't sensitive enough. Me and my friend, as we listened, laughed. "He's a man" we said.

Later, I reminded her of the time I cut my Achilles tendon, had 20 stitches, a walking cast, and had her push me in a wheelchair at Wal-Mart because it was Camp Grandma week and I had a lot to do. She got mad at me telling her where to go and pushed me into some paper cups, knocking them down. I reminded her how badly she acted and said, "I should have dumped you for that." She's the baby of the family. God, save me from youngest children.

4/07/2005 09:35:00 PM  

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