The Grass is Always Greener

When my kids were very little, especially when I just had two, and one as a newborn slept all morning, and the other as an almost 2 year old slept all afternoon, I was sure I would never leave the house again. I longed for the days when school would come, along with lessons and activities that would give my day some structure, apart from the schedule of nap times. Now I'm there, and I long for the days when scheduling wasn't a problem, when I could just go to the park just because it was a nice day, or take hours (not literally) at Costco deciding which pajamas to buy, and hitting every single free sample kiosk that was there. Now I live and die by the clock, and in many ways it is nice, giving me structure that I normally wouldn't have, making sure meals are served on time (instead of it hitting 3:00, and oh, wait, we haven't had lunch yet). But sometimes I just hate the way I can't just follow my whims to hit a museum, or go to the zoo. And as I look back, I realize I did not take full advantage of that time. I was too busy complaining that I was losing my mind, that I had nothing to do and nowhere to go. I guess I'm just a tad pessimistic, chronically wanting what I don't have, and as summer approaches, the schedule will relax quite a bit, although there are still piano, swimming, and ballet lessons. Also, there are still huge blocks of unscheduled time, when we can just do whatever we want, and I know that I will vascillate between loving those times and hating them. I guess there's just no pleasing me.


Blogger Karen said...

I know what you mean. This summer I have decided to schedule in some things that I want to do with my kids(library, park, zoo, movie, day hike, pool, fingerpaint, etc.) and then leave some days with a blissfully empty schedule.

5/30/2006 12:01:00 PM  
Blogger Ana said...

I know this feeling too. It is the biggest loss I feel like I have suffered as a mom working outside the home. There is just not enough time for all the fun leisurely activities we used to do when I was a sahm and the kids were little. But you make me feel a little better -- the time crunch was coming, anyway. I may have hastened it by a couple of years but I could never have avoided it completely. So ... thanks for that.

5/30/2006 01:29:00 PM  
Blogger Tracy M said...

Well. I'm right in the middle of the "unstructured years" and holy cow, would I like some! You're totally right, it always seems better looking over the neighbor's fence.

5/30/2006 05:06:00 PM  
Anonymous jbn said...

Hee Hee Hee Hee...

5/30/2006 11:00:00 PM  

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