Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

Tracy's blog has a post entitled "Have you had that baby yet?" with a single word. Nope. And while I know we are all hoping she has the baby soon, it reminded me of all the things people say when a woman is in her final weeks, and exhausted in every way. Some of them are not so kind. I know it's different here in cyberspace, where we don't actually see each other, so asking is the only way to know. But in the non-cyber world, seeing a very pregnant woman and asking why she hasn't had it yet is one of the more frustrating experiences we have in life. Here are some questions I've actually been asked, and answers that I wish I had given. Q: Haven't you had that baby yet? A: Well, I did, actually, but I liked the labor and delivery so much that they put her back in so I can do it again in a few weeks. Q: What are you still doing here? (a favorite at work) A: I just come to work so I can hear the sultry sounds of your voice. Q: I hope you have a route mapped out to the hospital. You could go at any time. A: Ah, yes, labor is so similar to a volcano. Just call me "Vesuvius." Q: You look just like I did when I gave birth. You should go to the doctor right now! A: And tell her what? I look like a woman I know, and since I obey her every order, I'm here to demand that I give birth. Q: Any minute now..... A: I didn't realize pregnancy was measure in minutes. How depressing. What I didn't realize is that this was all just foreshadowing of things to come. "That baby needs a coat." "Where are her shoes?" "You know, she really should have teeth by now. Have you taken her to the dentist to see what's wrong?" All I did in reality was just kind of nod, shrug, or fake laugh. But in my head, I was insulting people left and right. Just so you know. My personal favorite is the daily phone calls from prospective grandparents. "Had the baby yet?" See, these are people I actually would inform while I was in labor, or en route to the hospital. Don't call us, we'll call you.


Blogger Trivial Mom said...

This is so true! Hello, if I have a belly, and no baby in tow, I haven't had the baby yet. And believe me I am more anxious to have this child then you are!

Although I must admit I was guilty of asking the same sorts of questions before I had my first.

I'm pregnant right now with the second and due the end of August, but actually told people my due date was the middle of september, hoping to avoid some of these annoying questions.

4/21/2006 02:05:00 PM  
Blogger Ana said...

You make me glad I suppress my scoldings when I see people with kids in the grocery store at 9 PM after I've struggled to get mine to sleep before I sneak away leaving DH in charge of the snoring hordes. (I'll just say it here ... Take those babies home and put them to bed!) Isn't it funny how hard it can be to mind our own business?

You also make me almost glad I've never been pregnant. ;)

4/21/2006 02:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

please keep suppressing your scoldings...you don't know their life or situation, keep your "opinions" of when children should be in bed to yourself.

Sorry to be rude, but since when is it your business, anyway?

FYI, for about 5 years I worked a graveyard shift while my husband worked days. He would keep our child up until about midnight/1am so that I could get a few hours of sleep when I got home. If he didn't do this I would get no sleep.

Just because you do things one way doesn't mean that is the way everyone has to do it.

4/21/2006 02:51:00 PM  
Blogger Heather O. said...

When I was at church for the 2nd time AFTER my due date, one guy said, "Well, it sounds like you've had a great pregnancy."

I wanted to hit him.

His wife saved him, though, by saying, "Oh, Heather, you look so good in that dress, you should be a model for maternity clothes." And she said it in a nice way.

Since I felt and most certainly looked like a hippo in boots, the compliment was appreciated!

4/21/2006 02:51:00 PM  
Blogger Tracy M said...

Vesuvius! HA! You made me laugh, and right now, I'm so not a laughing woman! Thanks...

In the last two days, beleive it or not, no less than 8 people have just "stopped" by to say hi- and about 15 (no kidding) people have called to see "how I am"... I'm thinking of recording a new message for our machine- maybe something about Vesuvius and Labor being just like a volcano... TAKE COVER PEOPLE, THAR SHE BLOWS! I guess that's Moby Dick, but a whale is a good description too...

4/21/2006 04:30:00 PM  
Anonymous JKS said...

LOL. The questions can get pretty annoying. But, it could be worse. What if no one was calling? What if no one remembered that you were due? What if when you called them up to tell them "I'm having the baby" they said, "What baby? Are you pregnant?"
What if they were dumping work on you or asking for favors because they have a cold.
So, remember that these people aren't ignoring you. They may not know that they are saying stupid things that would annoy a grouchy 9 month pregnant woman. But they want to say something because they are excited for you. They think about you and want to share in the excitement of the pregnancy.

4/21/2006 10:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My second was 9 days late, so I've decided that if/when I'm expecting #3, I'll do as trivial mom and tell people a later due date. Never again will I subject myself to the prying and dumb comments.

What is worse, though, is comments from none-too-slender people about how LARGE you are. I think those sorts of comments are inexcuseable from anyone, but in my experience, they have come from people who are bigger than I am (one even bigger than I am at 9 days overdue). As if pregnant women don't know they have a large belly. DUH! Isn't that to be expected when you are GROWING A PERSON!?

4/22/2006 07:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ditto what anonymous said to ana--it's really none of your business if people take their kids to the store at 9:00 p.m. How nice that you have a husband that will watch them when they are asleep. Many people aren't nearly so lucky. Are children who aren't asleep at 9 p.m. doomed to horrible lives? I doubt it.

4/22/2006 07:47:00 PM  
Blogger a spectator said...

I was blessed(?) not to be very obviously pregnant. That just means that I looked very fat rather than having an adorable baby belly, but it cut out on a lot of stupid stuff that people say.

I had a woman at church, however, tell me, when I first came with the baby, that she didn't even know I was pregnant! Ouch! I guess she just thought that I had had a depressing 9 months and was hitting the Ben and Jerrys.

4/22/2006 10:11:00 PM  
Blogger Jamie J said...

For 5 days until I went to the hospital my mom would call me. "Have you had the baby yet?" My MOM! Hello, like I'm not going to tell her I'm going to the hospital! She only lives 10 miles away. It drove me nuts. After a couple days, I just said "Yes and we're already back from the hospital." She is so gullible so it worked for a minute. At work people would always tell me how big I was. Thanks a lot! I wish I had thought of using "Did you mean to be rude or did that just come out wrong?" LOL

4/22/2006 10:31:00 PM  
Blogger MLEH said...

When I was eight months pregnant with our oldest, there was an Institute dance for Young Married couples, and I really wanted to go. My 6 foot, 125 lb husband refused to take me, because he "didn't want to look like the tethering pole for a blimp".

Mind you, the child was born a week later, and weighed a whopping 4 lbs, 11 oz.

4/24/2006 10:44:00 AM  

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