3/21/2006

Does this count?

I am a huge procrastinator. I am sitting here typing, staring at a box of TurboTax, which is mocking me almost verbally (April 15 is coming up....just because you want to ignore me, doesn't mean I will go away....putting it off is only making it worse....). I do realize that boxes of software can't talk, I'm not completely insane. I might also mention that it's two o'clock, and my two youngest children are sitting here watching 'Dora' and eating lunch. I would feel guilty about such a late meal, except breakfast was at 11:00, so feeding them at noon would have been fairly pointless. Also, they are still in their jammies. I, however, am fully dressed, so that's got to count for something, doesn't it? There's that phrase....'got to count for something.' My question is - who's counting? Us? Them? God? Where's the scoreboard? In what column do I get credit for having showered today? (I'll take 'hygiene' for 200, Alex.) And even though it's only Tuesday, it's already been a crazy week, and it's only going to get crazier, so this is pretty much the only down time we have, and it's ending in an hour. So do I get 'credit' for letting my kids relax? Does that count? I've heard people say that they served in the military, so they don't want to serve a mission, their military service 'counts'. I would never discount the value of dedicated service, missionary or military. But it 'counts?' Is there a rule that says we can do a certain amount of service, and then pretty much give up? Do we really think the Lord is up there saying, "You've earned 5 million service points, counting that military time, so here's your kingdom"? or "Oh, bummer, you missed out on that service project, that would have earned you 300 more points, and you're short 250 to get into heaven. Sorry....my hands are tied...you just didn't do enough stuff that really counts." We will never do enough that counts. Ever. No matter how hard we try. That's what the atonement is for. It counts for everything.

5 Comments:

Blogger Heather O. said...

Sometimes 'it counts' in our own personal score cards. Women are especially hard on ourselves, and we tend to keep track of what we are doing, how we measure up, either to our own personal standards, or, even more destructive, how we measure up to other people's standards. So when we say, "it counts for something", I think we are usually the ones keeping the score.

3/21/2006 06:28:00 PM  
Blogger Tracy M said...

Heather's right. It's our own personal scorecards where we keep tabs on ourselves. HF's got a much bigger picture than we do, and I doubt he cares so much about how many "Jammies" days our kids have.

Oh, and my Turbo Tax is sitting here mocking me too. I find myself avoiding this room sometimes, and it's becasue I really don't want to listen to it. Avoidance. Jammies. What's a mama to do?? I say, go eat some ice cream!

3/21/2006 06:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Selwyn said...

I agree with both Heather and Tracy. When your day/week/hour/year is chewing into your backside with crazy people disasters and events, to be able to say "I did x - and that counts for something!" is better than feeling bad/dismal/failure for not winning the Nobel Peace/Literature/Superwoman prizes. Before breakfast.

Better to count the blessings and the small steps you take than the big black marks we give ourselves for not doing everything that we "should".

3/21/2006 08:41:00 PM  
Blogger annegb said...

Thank you.

3/21/2006 10:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Sheridan said...

I always feel that if at the end of the day my kids are alive and no blood was spilt, it was a good day. Especially if they were fed too. Bonus points for that!

3/22/2006 04:44:00 PM  

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