Speaking of Mamaries...

Now for the other side of the, er, cup. Not to take anything away from my Sisters who have never had a problem with the cupeth overflowing, but I know I am not the only Mama out here who dreams A-cup dreams. Maybe I am a radical. Well, in my family, even though I am the only Mormon, I am definitely the wild child, radical one, but that doesn't have any bearing on why I told my doctor to cut them off. Please! Just cut them off! Yes, ladies, I was one of those women who's breasts turned the corner before I did, who had cleavage to Cleveland and back, who would actually have to snap my fingers at guys to get them to look at my face- How obnoxious is that? Finding clothing to actually button over my bosoms was futile; only knit or other outrageously stretchable fabric need even apply. When I got married, we had to special-order the under-bra thing, and perhaps I should post a photo, because you have never seen such an engineering miracle as was this bra. The day my milk came in with my first baby was unreal- many women feel like a cow when they first try nursing- but ladies, I actually LOOKED like a she-cow who had not been milked in three days- veins and all. My mother came laughing out of my bedroom with my nursing bra on her head- and it covered her all the way to the jaw-line. Really, is that what you A-cuppers want? So, last year when my doctor discovered a vertebrae in my upper back was crushed almost to collapse (I was 32!), he suggested 20 years of hauling ol' Undulous and Pendulous around was the cause. When the Orthopedic guy and the Radiologist concurred, our insurance was obligated to pay for fixing it. And fixing it meant, glory of glories, Breast Reduction Surgery! I danced all the way to the car... If any of you are in the boat I used to paddle, struggling with straps that cut into your shoulders, upper back pain, inability to see your feet, breasts that are larger than your babies, or any of the other joys of the buxom, please see your doctor. Have your spine checked out. Had I had the surgery when I was 22 instead of 32, my back would not be fused at two vertebrae now. Yes, fused- and entirely due to the weight of large boobs. (The surgery was a little scary, as surgery probably should be, but let me stress- this was not a cosmetic procedure. Insurance will pay for it 100% if it can be shown that your body is suffering muscular or skeletal detriment due to your chest.) Beforehand, I asked the doctor how small he could take me- I really wanted an A-cup, but he said that was too extreme, so he created a C. And with that, he removed over half of my breasts. The man was a genius and deserving of some kind of humanitarian award- I maintained all sensation, and the ability to nurse! The very best part? The backpain was immediately gone- absolutely immediately gone. And my spine is starting to repair itself. And I would do it again tomorrow; three times tomorrow- for how good I feel now. We often yearn for the grass in the other pasture- whether it be curly hair, height, status or bra-size. But take it from me, you ladies with natural, small breasts are truly blessed- you are not harming your bones, your muscles or your body. Thank your perky girls and be glad they are yours!


Anonymous Sue M said...

Amen Tracy! My insurance won't cover it - medically necessary or not. All of the women in my family are well endowed and frankly, it's not all it's cracked up to be, for all of the reasons you mention.

Right now I'm a 34F and I would give anything to be a 34B. Someday soon we're going to spring for reduction surgery. I want to RUN without having to wear three bras dangit! I want to jump on the trampoline without knocking myself out.

I'm jealous.

1/18/2006 02:38:00 AM  
Blogger annegb said...

Yeah, I'd love to have small perky boobs. Never been there.

I cannot find a good bra. I spent a fortune on a bra from Victorias Secret and it's pretty, but it doesn't do the job.

I want a good padded bra that supports and covers all of me.

1/18/2006 08:54:00 AM  
Blogger marian said...

Tracy, I don't think I had it as bad as you, but I always had dreams of breast reduction. I told my sister (a 32AA) that as soon as they perfected the breast transplant, we'd be all set. The only thing keeping me going was the knowledge that my cousin, also quite well-endowed, came away from her childbearing experiences significantly reduced. I'm glad to say that my 1 has definitely reduced my load somewhat, and I hope that future children will do the same.

Annegb, I know I commented about this over at Tales, but I have a bra that I recommend to all my breast-blessed friends, and everyone should check it out. Not cheap, not beautiful, but great. Here is just one of the many places online that carries it.

1/18/2006 09:33:00 AM  
Blogger Heather O. said...

Wow. I guess I should be thankful for being small, but sometimes I wonder, hey, could just a teeny little bit more really hurt? I just remember a time in high school where my best friend and I both liked the same guy. I mean really liked the same guy, and we flocked around him like sea gulls at a beach picnic. He and I eventually became good friends, but guess who he made out with? Yep, you guessed it, my best friend, who just happened to be sporting a D cup next to my pathetic A. His words, "Y'know, if you could take your awesome personality and combine it with your friend's awesome body, that would be a perfect woman!"

Needless to say, both of us were offended, and none of us are still friends.

1/18/2006 09:56:00 AM  
Anonymous Susan M said...

Haha. Men!

I'm sort of in-between the two extremes. My husband would say I'm big, but I think having best friends in junior high that were HUGE (in junior high!) changed my perspective somewhat.

1/18/2006 11:06:00 AM  
Blogger ShelahBooksIt said...

amen! I'd give anything (well, maybe not anything, but a heck of a lot) to be one of those tiny-breasted a-cuppers! I hate, hate, hate that my clothes are two full sizes bigger on the top than on the bottom. Even my mom says that if I weren't so darn busty I'd look a lot better.

1/18/2006 01:56:00 PM  
Blogger Jamie J said...

I was way more well endowed before my baby and I'm still nursing. I don't know what will happen when I stop. I'm used to be a 38C now I'm lucky to fit into my 34B cup.

1/18/2006 02:02:00 PM  
Anonymous JKS said...

I am really happy that after 3 kids I'm no longer a 34 or 36 DD. I have shrunk at least one size. I actually bought a C cup last year! So I'm sort of a 34C or D.
My biggest breast pet peeve has been that both sides are not the same size--currently one's a C and ones a D. Plus, my rib cage has some harmless condition that makes it worse by not being symmetrical. So, I can't find bras to fit me well.
This issue is similar to being too tall or too short. (I'm very tall). Clothes arent' made for me. There are tons of pesky little problems associated with being on either ends of the spectrum.
Sometimes, it is just so nice to be average and normal.
But, I think it is important to embrace your uniqueness. It is part of you. Tall, short, flat, full-chested, everything has its benefits and its drawbacks. I try to be a glass half full kinda gal.
I embrace my tallness now, but I have to admit that marrying someone who can make me look petite probably was the most significant thing.
Of course, that means my daughters will be even larger giants than I was.

1/18/2006 05:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Steve EM said...

Shame! It's ok to add to what the good Lord has given you, but never taketh away!

1/18/2006 05:46:00 PM  
Blogger Sarebear said...

I have the same problem, JKS.

I feel SOOooo lopsided. Trying to find a bra that fits is nuts. If it looks good on one side, the other is too wrinkley (will show wrinkles thru clothes) or, on the bigger side, the cup won't sit flush at the bottom, it can't hold it all.

1/18/2006 05:58:00 PM  
Blogger The Wiz said...

"Thank your perky girls and be glad they are yours."

Oh, if only they were perky.......

1/18/2006 06:28:00 PM  
Blogger hairyshoefairy said...

I'm one of those girls whose shoulder blades stick out further than my boobs and, until just a few years ago, wore a bra purely for social reasons. My BF in school was one of the girls who needed a D cup bra when we were in 7th grade. We always joked about it but it wasn't really an issue. Now, being pregnant my chest is growing with frightening speed and as much as I used to want a larger chest I am now beginning to change my mind. It's not like I'm even all that big! I just feel like I can't breathe anymore. Like my growing chest is trying to suffocate me. This can't be normal! And I'm not anywhere near getting my milk in yet! It's a little alarming to me. Isn't it unhealthy to be growing this fast?!

1/18/2006 07:13:00 PM  
Blogger Tracy M said...

hairyshoefairy (hehe!) yup, it's normal...don't panic!

Steve em- I get the tongue in cheek- and I have a suggestion for you: My surgeon told me that the weight he removed from my chest was about the same as a gallon of milk. Tie a string around a gallon of milk, and wear it around your neck for a day. Then imagine doing that for 20 years...

The good Lord also made talented and skilled surgeons to help 38 H, yes, thats right they make 'H' cup bra's- they can also be used as hats- women like me.

Now go kiss your wife.

1/18/2006 08:15:00 PM  
Blogger The Daring One said...

Seriously, I'd pay a lot of money to lose these things. I think B is a perfect size. I really enjoyed it...back in high school.

1/18/2006 08:18:00 PM  
Blogger moddy said...

for those of you who are lop-sided, you can buy a insert that can help your bras fit right. I know it's one more thing to shove in the bra, but if it makes you feel a little better then it's worth it.
As for me I'd give anything to be a b/c cup size again, oh the days of not worrying if the twins were in their right spots.
I'm hoping that someday they'll be able to do transplants, I have a sister who would like to recieve some of mine.

1/18/2006 09:44:00 PM  
Blogger ShelahBooksIt said...

I was lopsided (and I mean seriously, noticeably lopsided) from puberty until I weaned my last baby. Now, miraculously, I seem to have evened out. So they're bigger and saggier than they were before kids, but I can at least be glad that they're even in size now!

1/18/2006 11:09:00 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

Growing up as a steady but unimpressive B cup, I used to wish I was better-endowed. Then with my first pregnancy I grew. Then after I had the baby and my milk came in, I grew even more and was suddenly a DD+. It was a nightmare. Suddenly, I couldn't wear button-up shirts, I looked fatter than I was, and I hated how heavy and hot and cumbersome they were (it was a July baby).

After a few months, they subsided, then shrank away when I weaned, and they've never gotten that big with subsequent kids. I don't miss them at all.

1/19/2006 02:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Sue M said...

No fair - I breastfed three kids and they are still the same size - way too large. Grrrrrrr.....

1/19/2006 02:53:00 PM  
Blogger Abby said...

I just mailed my aunt a 34 J. (yes I typed that right) She just had a baby and she needed a hammock of a nursing bra. Fortunately there is a store close to me that sells that size.
As for me I hate having a BIG chest. I would trade for a strong C any day.
Tracy, thank you for your honest post.

1/19/2006 05:10:00 PM  
Blogger Mardell said...

I have been there. In high school I was a B cup. Then I had kids. I was a 42F when I nursed my first (Sulivan) and with Kace I got as big as 42H and with Indigo I got as big as 42G. I am so glad to be back down to a 42E. But when I lose more weight I seem to settle at a 40D. I often wished I had a lot less, and I have often considered breast reduction.
I finally found a good sports bra and bought two for about 60 dollars a piece. I can actually play sports without beating myself to death. The brand name is Enell. All I can say is I love them even though it gives my uniboob. But who cares I can run.

1/19/2006 11:38:00 PM  
Blogger nestle said...

ahhh the oddities of boobs. I grew up with a steady B cup. Yes ladies I was a B. Now 5 years after a B cup and after 2 children I now have an almost A cup. Yes I know. I believe there is no rhyme or reason to boobs and their changing sizes. It happens. Be happy, be healthy (thank goodness for surgery and for the fact that you have some... friend looking at mastectomy)and love being a woman.

1/23/2006 11:43:00 AM  
Blogger Terry said...

I know it's a bit late, but I’m so happy that you're finally free from your burden. Sometimes, having a large pair of breast can be a real pain for us—literally. But then, I think there's nothing wrong to have bigger ones, as long as they are fit and proportion to our body. But if they are really causing you pain and stress, it's better to have them removed.

Terry Bayer

4/23/2013 02:40:00 PM  

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