A New Battle
Being in a cast is not good for me. It interrupts my healthy flow of chi, blocks all my chakras, whatever. I am convinced that when the technician wrapped my arm, the first layer was not cotton, it was a semi-solidified form of rage. Because, truly, I am feeling more rage now than is natural, and I believe the best explanation is that it's seeping into my bloodstream through my arm. (Or maybe it's because I chose a black cast instead of hot pink?) I do not want to make this a list of things I am raging at, because, like any fire, rage only gets worse by feeding it. Once I start listing the things that make me angry, it quickly escalates from my immediate family (my 2 year old doesn't hold still for me to change his poopy diaper left-handed), to people I know (apparently, Nate Oman found my fall fairly comical), to regional, national, and, given enough time to fuel my ever-growing fire with enough self-pity and anger, I can come up with injustices done to me on a global scale. No, really, I can. I'm quite talented at self-pity, once I get going. So, I have to STOP THE MADNESS! Because changing diapers and wrestling an octopus into clothing made for humans isn't going to get any easier until I have the use of two hands back, which won't be for another 5 weeks. And 5 more weeks of insisting on how hard this is isn't going to be fun for anybody to listen to, especially not my DH or my kids. It is hard. Harder than it should be, in my opinion, and I have reason to complain. But so do a lot of people, and complaining isn't helping. I can see that it's fairly toxic to my family. Because, as we all know, if mama ain't happy, nobody's happy - and if Daddy ain't happy, nobody cares. So, I'm trying to dial down the rage. I know, as mothers, that we have all had to fight the self-pity demon at certain times in our lives. Any good visualizations? Any tips? Share the victory stories!!!! Because although I believe I am currently winning the battle, I could lose the war at any time. Also, I would like to remind Nate that "Fools mock, but they shall mourn....."